Reject

If someone had to list their fears, I bet one of them would not be listed because they don't recognize it as a fear; they either don't think about it or don't accept it. I'm talking about rejection. Now, most people might try to lie to themselves or others and say that they can handle rejection. Well, this is naive bull shit in the making. Everyone fears rejection; they loathe it, dish it out, take it, and ultimately fear its evil blows. I for one am scared of being rejected. I like to be accepted by most and even though sometimes I put on an FU attitude and make others think that I don't care about what they think, I really do care. I don't like being liked and when I'm rejected it's the worst. If I'm waiting for something big to happen and I don't get it, it's killer. Today I sent a text with a question I didn't know if I wanted to know the answer to yet. When I got the response, I didn't even want to open it and read it. My heart was pounding and I was so afraid of what it would say. Luckily, it turned out ok, but the fear was potent--an acrid bitter drug pulsing through my blood system.

So whoever is out there reading this, think of what you say your fears are and which ones you are leaving out. You might surprise yourself, because I sure did.

(Listening to "Trouble"~~Coldplay "so I turn to run and thought of all the stupid things I've done...")