I don't wanna be in love...

As a holder of a BA in English, I am an avid reader. As such, there seems to be no escape from the incessant theme of love in all manners of books. It's bad enough that when I turn on my ipod, 9.9 times out of 10 it's about love, lost and found.

Spare me. Please.

Now, I don't want to be called bitter just because I've never been in love or experienced love in that sense, but I'm tired of the nonsense of the "love idea." It's true that it does pain me to read of love never have experiencing it. I've read hundreds of books throwing love in the air as idly as one adds sugar to their iced tea. Love should not be a filler in a book, a goal or ending to a book, or movie for that matter, or spoken about so disgustingly cutsie; a way that shoves it into every love-lorn person that true love doesn't exist.

There, I said it. I don't believe in love.

Honestly.

While I want to have someone to "love" me and such and I do get bitter and sad when I'm reminded of my impending loneliness, love is indeed just a word. To me, love doesn't last and it's not certain. Like Ben Franklin said, the two things you can be certain about are death and taxes, and that's true. You come into the world alone and you will die alone. What does love do for you in the long run?

But does that mean I have to be alone and hollow? I want, not love, but understanding. I want a person who understands my flaws and oddities and accept me. Cuddle with me and keep me company till forever, however long that may be. But love....it's not something to give or take. You can't give someone a word....

While this all sounds odd coming from an avid Beatles and John Lennon fan who believes all you need is love and in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make...I don't wanna be in love in all sense of the word.

I want to be wanted. I guess that's the word for it.

Sorry for rambling. Reading lovey-dovey books makes me get like this sometimes.

Night.

(Listening to "Chasing Pavements"~~Adele...makes me question should I give up or should I just keep chasing this idea of love even if it leads nowhere....)